Part II
Fate isn’t real, I make my own destiny. I hit my head in the coffee shop and when I open my eyes everything will be back to the way it was before Grace -
“Open your eyes, I can hear you thinking. If you’re so intent on thinking I’m not here let’s test this theory...you can be Judas if you want to, but you really don’t have to be.”
“I don’t want - I wasn’t meaning -” my eyes popped open in shock at his words.
“Now you’re lying to Fate.” He shook his head with sorrowful lines in his forehead. Could Fate get wrinkles? His laughter surprised and scared me. “Is that what you’re wondering? Fine, then see me.” As he spread his arms in the empty coffee shop with the downpour outside he aged incredibly, and was so like my mother’s father I wondered... “No, I’m of no relation to you, I just wanted to answer your question.”
“So what happened? Where did the people go? Where did the coffee shop go a moment ago?”
“Do you feel like a child when you ask such questions?” It had been my thought. I frowned.
“If you know my thoughts -”
“Why bother asking?” I nodded.
“You have been making your own rain - as I said - your sorrows are flooding the metro Boston area, so if you want to wallow some more I suggest we go buy galoshes first. I’m here because I wanted to see if you are still as courageous as Grace knew you to be. I want to make sure I truly picked the right person.”
“Wait, picked for what?” Fate looked around the coffee shop, shook his head, and all the noise, people in the coffee shop returned. He shrugged into a tall collared slicker and nodded towards the door. It was pouring - again, and I couldn’t just sit there. I followed Fate out of a coffee shop, into what was apparently my own rainstorm, to hopefully something better. Wind battered the rain into my eyes, and when I could see again it wasn’t rain blowing at me but flower petals.
“Welcome to Sylvia’s Heaven. She made it when she was eight and two-thirds. She picked out the purple and pink versions of the “China Purple” Clematis, and mixed it in with some pink-red azaleas, the blueish white pansies, and some tiger lilies next to a field of star-gazer lilies. She set aside a special patch over by that stone wall, near the willow tree, for naturally growing blue, purple-sterling and black roses.” All I could do was stare, until my nose began to itch. Fate reached over and pat my head, the sneeze vanishing from my system. “A field of flowers and no allergies, that was what Sylvia wanted.” Fate and I smiled, laughing together as the wind swirled through Sylvia’s Heaven.
“So where’s Sylvia?” I looked, still giddy, to Fate. He frowned solemnly.
“She’s not here.” This stopped me cold.
“What do you mean? Why would she leave?” I paused, and then angry, continued. “Did you make her leave?”
“I asked if she could help me, and she asked that I take care of her Heaven, share it with anyone I thought could use a smile. She chose to help, so I care for her Heaven. Will you help?”
“I have no Heaven to leave to your care in return.” I walked away from him then, all joy gone. The sun seemed to dim behind newly formed thunderheads. It seemed even here, in some little girl’s Heaven I could still ruin everything.
“No, not ruin. Even the flowers need rain sometimes. These grasses need rain occasionally. If you want to help the care of her Heaven, go ahead, indulge in your sorrows, bring the rains. When you’ve soaked your clothes through though, you won’t feel any better about thinking you’ve no Heaven. I chose Sylvia’s because I didn’t think you were ready to visit your Heaven. It’s up to you.” Fate plunked down in the grasses, and began plaiting a circlet.
“I feel like I failed Grace.”
“You know you didn’t.” I had no true answer to this frustrating answer, so I screamed.
And the rain fell in torrents, flattening the tall grass, soaking the willow, drowning the roses, until Fate stood up and hugged me. I stopped wailing then. It changed from something akin to a banshee to a heartfelt sob, changing the rain too - from a monsoon to a spring misting. He turned me in his arms and showed me the damage that had been done.
“You just wanted to destroy something beautiful, didn’t you?” I nodded, ashamed. “So now I want you to want to make it better.” It sounded so simple - too simple. He covered my eyes. I had to smile, he knew I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Just like that I thought of this little girl’s magnificent Heaven, not like it was when I had arrived with Fate, but slightly better for some nourishing rain. When Fate chuckled I knew I had succeeded. I was rewarded by the sight he let me see by removing his hands. (approved.)
“Wow.”
“I knew you could do it.” Grace’s voice drifted through my head and I stumbled. My stomach jolted and I stared at Fate as he smirked sadly again, and the worlds seemed to spin through my vision.
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